Parking
PopularFIU To Turn Tamiami Park Into New Parking Garage
After intense negotiations between FIU President Mark Rosenberg and Miami-Dade County, FIU has claimed Tamiami Park’s roughly 1.7 square miles as an official annex to their MMC campus. The park will be the location of...
Student Life
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Student Finally Stops Playing Piano in GC After Four Years
Students passing by the GC Piano Room early Thursday morning were startled by a sudden uproar. Witnesses say Juan-Daniel "JD" Perez, an undergraduate senior here at Florida International University, began screaming and banging on the piano and quickly left in a rage.
Faculty & Staff
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Tenured Algebra Professor Just Showing Friends Re-runs in Class
Many FIU students were baffled, upon entering DM 100, to find Professor Oliver Speer asleep at his...
Student Who Has Never Shown Up to Class or Opened Book “Has Totally Got This”
Sources are saying that 19 year old freshman Tobias Budge, despite having never attended class or even removed the wrapping from his textbook, is unconcerned about his precalculus final as he, “Has totally got this, you guys”....
Read MoreHeroic Mystery Man Slashes Tires of Parking Ambassador Vehicle
Yesterday, according to witnesses, at 1:15 PM, in front of PG5, an “actual miracle” happened. Everyone loves superhero films, but at FIU an actual hero appeared out of thin air and disappeared just as quickly. The...
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Artwork On MMC Campus To Be Censored
In a drastic motion that has FIU Art students and art aficionados outraged, the Board of Trustees...
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Student Wears Bag Over Head To Avoid Old Friends
What would seem to be a joy to most students, going to school with dozens of people you know, is turning out to be a nightmare for one student in particular. Jason Murray, a Sophomore at FIU has taken to wearing a brown paper bag over his head to avoid being seen by those who would consider him an old friend.
Read MoreSerious Talk – Question #2
Dear Dirk, My girlfriend she wants to have a “serious talk”. I’m not sure what that means and I’m scared that she wants to break up with me. What should I do? From Scared and Confused Dear Scared and Confused, I’m going to write...
Read MoreFull-time Pain – Question #1
Dear Dirk, As an FIU Business student who works full-time, I find it hard to get adequate study time. Do you have any tips to maximize limited study time? Sincerely, Busy Dear Busy, Unless you’re on the lam for a murder...
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