Clerical Error Floods FIU Campus With Excess Palm Trees
MIAMI DADE, Florida, August 13 — If you've ventured onto our Modesto A. Maidque Campus (MMC) within the last three months, you may be struck by some new additions to the landscape. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find an area that is not overcrowded with every...
Kissing Bridge to be Renamed Conception Bridge
It’s been a longstanding tradition that the blue wooden bridge over the lake between The Green Library and The Ryder Business building has been called The Kissing Bridge. Legend held that any couple who kissed while standing atop it would be together forever. It seems...
New Policy: University Must Allow Students Emotional Support Humans
It seems times are quickly changing, as the university has resolved a legal dispute over whether helper animals are allowed on campus. The definition of "helper animal" has been extended due to a recent incident. At the start of the Spring 2019 semester, sophomore...
New STD Discovered at Florida State University Dorms
A warning has been placed for all FSU transfer students, as researchers from the Center for Disease Control have announced the discovery of a new sexually transmitted disease within one of the dorms at Florida State University. “Normally this place is like a gold mine...
Artwork On MMC Campus To Be Censored
In a drastic motion that has FIU Art students and art aficionados outraged, the Board of Trustees (BOT) have decided to censor or remove all artwork they deem to be offensive on FIU’s Modesto Madique Campus. Beginning in Spring 2012, this official Chapter 100...
Student Wears Bag Over Head To Avoid Old Friends
What would seem to be a joy to most students, going to school with dozens of people you know, is turning out to be a nightmare for one student in particular. Jason Murray, a Sophomore at FIU has taken to wearing a brown paper bag over his head to avoid being seen by those who would consider him an old friend.
Students Mistake Beacon Article For Real News
Upon reading a particular article that was printed in this past Monday’s edition of FIU Student Newspaper, The Beacon, many faculty, and students alike, were completely flabbergasted. The article covered a controversial topic and seemed to misquote high ranking officials, painting them in a bad light with what seemed to be an almost ridiculing tone.
Underground Coke Ring Busted
Our investigative reporting wing has been hearing rumblings of a secretive underground trading ring of illicit FIU disallowed contraband. The ring has allegedly been around for about a year and half with potentially thousands of buyers. The contraband in question: Coca-Cola.
Student Finally Stops Playing Piano in GC After Four Years
Students passing by the GC Piano Room early Thursday morning were startled by a sudden uproar. Witnesses say Juan-Daniel “JD” Perez, an undergraduate senior here at Florida International University, began screaming and banging on the piano and quickly left in a rage.
Quiet Asian Student Still Waiting for Professor To Show Up
Night crew custodians making their rounds through the DM building last night were startled to find a live student trapped inside classroom 144.
