Dean Calloway | PantherMEOW

Study: Most MDC Transfer Students Can Neither Read Nor Write

Posted by Dean Calloway | Feb 20, 2012 | Academics, Featured |

After two years of extensive research, the independent research organization Education America came to the disappointing conclusion that most Miami-Dade College transfer students currently taking classes at FIU are totally and completely illiterate.

Underground Coke Ring Busted

Posted by Dean Calloway | Feb 12, 2012 | Marketing, Student Life |

Our investigative reporting wing has been hearing rumblings of a secretive underground trading ring of illicit FIU disallowed contraband. The ring has allegedly been around for about a year and half with potentially thousands of buyers. The contraband in question: Coca-Cola.

Quiet Asian Student Still Waiting for Professor To Show Up

Posted by Dean Calloway | Feb 3, 2012 | Academics, Student Life |

Night crew custodians making their rounds through the DM building last night were startled to find a live student trapped inside classroom 144.

One Third of FIU Math Department Drafted into War

Posted by Dean Calloway | Feb 3, 2012 | Faculty & Staff, Featured |

In a stunning development last week, One Third of FIU’s Math Department was suddenly drafted into war. The Eastern European country of Kravkozia located on the Southern rim of Russia began a military conflict with the Republic of Schvka.